Hi, Everyone! Life has been busy lately and has eaten in to my writing time a little.
That’s life! It is a circus at times and the hullabaloo of it all dazzles its way on to the main stage, taking a flamboyant central bow and convincing the audience that it should be the focus of attention for a significant amount of time. Thankfully though, there always comes an interval which allows me to take back some control and recommence my performance on here.
But not to stay regretful or crestfallen for too long because since last November (when I decided to really knuckle down and chip away at my writing endeavours on a level that I have never been as serious about before.) I have achieved so much! There is lots coming your way and I need to remember to side step those imposing gremlins and rally the encouraging troops that allow me to see how much I am achieving and how much potential myself, and in fact, all of us have.
So, without further ado, since November, I have:
- Written and released three blog posts – one in particular that went down very well all about new beginnings and how I was wrapping up a period of my life that I was trying to put behind me. It felt good to be up to date with the blog again, a feeling that usually goes as quickly as it comes, again – such is life! I think it’s all about not letting the unpredictability of life become too burdensome and if you feel like you’ve fallen or slipped behind in something, just to pick it back up again when you are ready and try not to give in to self-punishment – easier said than done, I know!
- Written and completed a book of 37 poems. Now this I am really proud of. This poetry collection was the perfect project with which to exorcise some emotions I had experienced and outline some perspectives I had gained. The completion of this project signified a departure from tempestuous skies allowing an arrival into a clearer horizon, fewer plane streaks in the sky. Some of the previously boarded flights had now been alighted and these poems helped me to propel forward. These poems are due to be released in the coming months, but I’m just trying to figure out the best way to do that and I haven’t gotten that clarity yet. More news coming soon because I can’t wait to hold this in my hands with a front cover and everything. Soon!
- Revisited and completed my nonfiction comedy book. This was an extremely proud moment for me because striking up this book again after starting it back in 2018, tinkering gradually, writing lots during lockdown but it then laying dormant for more than two years was really challenging. Dipping my finger back into what felt like a very stale pie was no easy feat – it took a lot of mental preparation and determination. But I did it! And the fruits of my labour are now apparent after a few weeks spent at my desk completing it – going from around £40,000 words to £82,000 in a few weeks!
Then came the editing.
I spent about two weeks editing the whole document before sending the manuscript to people close to me that know what they are talking about when it comes to literature (one an author, one an English teacher and one an avid reader and bibliophile.) So, once said people have finished reading then it’s over to me to get this book ready to elope to its final destination. One can only guess at the moment where that will be! But I’m looking forward to finding out and I’m ever so grateful for the people that are so keen to read it. One person has even cleared a space on his book shelf for it, which makes me so happy and spurs me to carry on with my writing. - I have written little snippets of new poems here and there and have projects up my sleeve for the coming months and years as I recently found myself rifling through my ottoman where lives a mountain of scribblings dating back to the early 2000’s when I was a teenager. I have so much writing that I’ve done over the years that is just laying dormant and collecting dust – that ottoman is like a Pandora’s Box of teenage literary treasures! And some of it (NOT all!) needs to see the light of day.
So , there we are. Lots done and lots coming yet I still find myself wading through the muddy puddles on some days that love splashing me with the notion I’m not achieving or moving forward. As long as we are getting up, trying and actually putting a bit of effort in, we are moving forward. There are common idioms such as ‘what is meant for you will come to you’ and ‘it happens when you’re not looking for it.’ These sentiments are all true but at the same time we have to take action on our lives, things don’t fall into your hands or happen to you if you just sit on your sofa day in day out or just never leave your bed for example. Ok, some things will happen because we have phones, but if you have an aspiration you have to do some of the leg work to make it a reality.
So, with this in mind I plan to put my best foot forward and try to reign in some of the things I am dreaming about: a fully decluttered, clean house – things that have a place and everything in their places, pretty and inspiring objects around me, no needless clutter obstructing the view.
I have a great need to do better financially because I have let myself slip recently. I have no need or desire to be rich or even wealthy (because my wealth comes from my time invested into achievements rather than in notes.) But I do live alone and am financially independent. I have two cats that are solely dependant on me and my wages and I need to take more care with this. Also to start to take a bit more care with saving for the future and paying off some debt that I’ve accumulated after initially clearing myself of it two years ago. I’ve done it before so I can do it again!
But it takes planning, focus and determination.
I also need to keep this blog up and running, squirrel away at all my other projects in order to get things released while trying not to isolate myself too much (I have had a tendency to do that this year with the significant increase of my creative determination.) Living alone and being a writer can become isolating and a little lonely at times so I need to keep socialising with my friends and family. This is crucial to wellbeing so therefore fundamental to being able to step up further in life.
Although, the support I’ve had from my friends and family while I’ve been striving for this has been incredible so far and I’m so grateful to be surrounded by people that will wait for, believe in me and want to see me succeed.
That’s basically the plan for the coming months; creative projects old and new, finances, friends and family. Everybody is striving for success in these areas really aren’t they, it is just characterised differently for everyone and built on different foundations. But these are the essential areas that comprise the modern day society; everybody striving for something and trying work their way up the ladder. People are to become something and have things rather than just be like nature really intended for us.
I am still very curious about life as there is so much that I have not yet done that tick all the social boxes, so I’d like to leave room for the possibility of those alongside my other ventures. In that vein, I do often feel a bit of pressure to speed things along a bit, so without making things too pressured and adding a bit of fun and creativity to the quest, I’m starting a project named ‘August to August.’ A year long project that will see me strive to achieve all the above things listed. If I swerve or drift off track (very likely) I will try and remain kind to myself and just pick back up again when I can – this is always possible as long as we are alive, no matter what age we are.
I am going to be experimenting more with reels and vlogging as I feel this will strengthen and embellish what I am trying to work towards and hopefully be entertaining in the process. I want to reveal more of what my life is like living by a canal in a village with my two black and white cats. We are going through quite an unanticipated journey together and I feel there is some value in documenting that while I work towards the future.
I hope you will all enjoy what I have to create and the things I have to show and say – my perspective on life in the modern day 21st century where we have so many choices and options, a reality that can both comfort like that first feeling of hot tea on your lips, or overwhelm like the immersive black void on a sleepless night. Things aren’t as they usually seem in your room, dressing gowns appear as apparitions, bed knobs are gnomes and a pair of curtains are two Roman knights standing with shields. Uncertainty can be scary but never trying anything is even scarier, don’t let these apparitions keep you from your sleep as they are not really there.
You have to work to your strengths and work through your weaknesses – that is what I have learned and tried to maintain in life and I still struggle with my short falls. But it’s important, though not always easy of course, to keep grateful for the strengths with which we are gifted and what we have to offer this world. We all do have something, however small it may seem.
Forget all this talk of creativity and succeeding for a moment; what if your strength is just not talking when someone else is talking? So, you can’t draw, can’t sing, can’t write very well, you work in an office and meander through a simple life thinking you have no value or much meaning. I tell you this, you mean everything if you are a genuinely good listener. Because what if you are a person that is a little reserved and quiet? Imagine if you were constantly around people that created noise and were all trying to be the talkers? You would never be heard.
‘Little’ personality traits mean everything so we all need to give ourselves more credit for what we already have to offer. I just happen to have this urge and desire to create and that is the only career I can see myself excelling in so this is why I feel I need to take things up a notch. That isn’t always what I necessarily would have chosen as it makes things very high pressured and intense when sometimes I want to relax and just be, enjoy the simple things in life.
But I can’t do that. I have always been the same, and it isn’t going away even with age, this urge and desire to create and work towards a creative career – I just haven’t got there yet. The little gifts you bring to the world with your personality mean just as much, if not more, than the big gifts, please always remember that. Your gift of being a good listener, for example, is going to be just what some people need in their lives and you are going to mean everything to them on any particular day when they need someone to hear them.
Everyone has something to offer, however small seeming. We are all components of a big people soup! Each ingredient has a purpose and they all compliment each other in some way.
So I’ll see you all soon with much more posts, creativity and striving for progress, not perfection!
